- Guy: What do girls do at sleepovers?
- Me: Pass the Bechdel test.
It still shocks (and mostly just disappoints) me how SHOCKED people are when I tell them that it is 100% legal to be fired simply for being gay.
They look at me like I’m lying and say things like “nooooo, that can’t be right?”.
I have been fired twice (in Ohio) for being openly gay.
I have been asked:
- to not wear my wedding ring
- Not acknowledge my wife’s existence
- To “just say you have a husband”
- To just not answer “yes” when people ask if I’m married because “you’re not REALLY married”
- To not bring my wife to the company FAMILY Christmas party
- Let people just assume we’re sisters
- Just make it easier on everyone and “just say you’re divorced”
These were not requests made from some Mom and Pop shop, I was a corporate executive for a large chain of high volume restaurants. My boss was the Director of Human Resources, and she would walk into my office and say the most ignorant things you can imagine.
People in America need to be educated on the reality that is life as a gay person in this country.
It’s not all gay pride parades and appletinis.
We need a leg to stand on.
We need people to wake up and educate themselves on the rights we are denied.
We need people…gay, straight, and in between, to open their eyes, stop ignoring what doesn’t directly effect them, and educate themselves.
Now add in the places you can be fired or not even hired EXPLICITLY because you’re trans, shall we?
(Hint: that would be every state, with only a handful of city governments standing in opposition)
this disgusts me beyond ability to verbalize. Absolutely abhorrent. We need to fix this shit.
On Periods: Let’s put this shit to bed right now: Women don’t lose their minds when they have period-related irritability. It doesn’t lower their ability to reason; it lowers their patience and, hence, tolerance for bullshit. If an issue comes up a lot during “that time of the month,” that doesn’t mean she only cares about it once a month; it means she’s bothered by it all the time and lacks the capacity, once a month, to shove it down and bury it beneath six gulps of willful silence.
oh this is SO FREAKING SPOT ON
I think it’s really hard for bisexuals because there is the illusion of choice. Because obviously being in a gay relationship isn’t as easy as being in a straight relationship. [x]
I was supposed to be taking the weekend off of social media, but I logged in tonight (of course) and saw the #YesAllWomen hashtag going crazy on Twitter. I added my own:
When a woman makes a video, most comments are about tearing apart her looks. Or if they’d “do” her. With a man, almost none. #YesAllWomen— Felicia Day (@feliciaday)May 26, 2014
To which a lot of people responded supportively (including awesome YouTube creators like Freddie Wong and the Fine Brothers) and then I got a ton of “Unfollow”, and sarcastic “#menhateday” and “Oh yeah, all men are terrible”. Which makes me a) Who cares if they’re gonna unfollow me because of that, they are clearly people I don’t need to be appealing to anyway, and b) and c) Oh gosh, do I even have to call out the ridiculous exaggeration? Or how sad it is that they missed the point, and the possibility to maybe see things from someone else’s point of view for a change?
So anyway, there are amazing comments around that hashtag, and you should check it out. But the one that got me the most was a recurring comment by a lot of women about how “it’s easier to tell a guy that you have a boyfriend so they’ll leave you alone. Because they respect a guy they’ve never met more than you.”
(Which is so sad and true, and every girl knows it in her bones as the way to deal with some horribly obnoxious person at a bar.)
But for me, the flip side is also true: How sad it is if you’re talking to a guy in a social situation, having a really fun conversation, and then somehow it comes up you have a boyfriend, and they drop you like a hot potato. Like, I’ve literally had a person say, “Boyfriend”? And WALK AWAY MID-SENTENCE.
Oh, and then I’ve had it happen that the guy acts like you were LYING to them by HAVING A FUN CONVERSATION AND BEING INTERESTING. HOW DARE I BE FUN IF IM NOT WILLING TO FALL IN LOVE/AND OR HAVE SEX WITH THEM?!?! I mean…sigh.
I am a person who has always had a ton of guy friends, and the fact that there are many social situations where I’m not worth talking to as a person because I am not sexually available makes me so sad. For myself, and for the friendships that could be, but will never happen because to them, I’m only there for a possible hook up.
Once I came home from a party crying after such an incident, telling my boyfriend, “Men and women can’t be friends, I guess.” Which is totally not true, but when an incident happens like that a few times…it makes you less willing to even reach out and try to connect. Or worse, you strangely spurt out the word “BOYFRIEND!” in a reflexive way within the first two sentences of meeting someone, because you don’t want to be rejected later for “not being honest”. Which feels so wrong and is so messed up when you think about it, that it’s a girl’s “responsibility”. Might as well wear a stamp on your forehead, huh?
And that’s my long #YesAllWomen comment. I hope a few people can relate, because sometimes I think I’m just crazy haha.
And for the record, I am very happy to have many guy friends in my life who have NEVER done that. I love them dearly. Platonically, of course. :)
Why I love finding the blogs of celebs I support; thisfeliciaday thanks for putting it into words more eloquently than I could have hoped to!
If Buying Condoms Was Like Buying Birth Control by buzzfeedvideo
That perfect combination of infuriating and hilarious, hopefully this will open some eyes to the difficulties of women’s sexual health.
arpeggi2211 said: This isn't a question but you have an amazing blog and it's so important that more people are made aware of the issues in society regarding gender equality (as you already know) so thank you so much for doing this
Thank you so much arpeggi2211! It always makes me so happy to get these kind of notes and know that it means something to someone other than myself. Thank you for your appreciation and support, it means more than I can say. :)
Take a stand against bullying! Go over to Facebook and share one of these graphics to show that you’ve got the backs of LGBT youth for #spiritday and every day!
Today’s the day everyone, so pick your appropriate graphic and show your support for the lgbtqia community!